Recapping Lost Long After Everyone Stopped Giving A Crap – Pilot Part 1

So way back in 2004 when I was  twelve (dear God I feel old) a show called Lost was launched. And  it was brilliant. There were people lost (duh) on an island that had weird tree breaking monsters and whispering in the bushes and other random shit. I watched that show for four years until I realised that making it up as they went along meant the writers had as much clue of what was going to happen next as I was and that ultimately lead to disappointment and general wtf-ness. So I stopped watching. When season six turned out to be the last season I wished I had known that before I stopped because two more seasons I could have endured (I had been under the impression there were going to be a lot more). Now, for some reason I’ve forgotten I’ve decided to watch those two seasons and find out how the show ended. But first I’m also going to watch the first fours seasons as well so I’m not too confused and also so I can remember why I originally liked this show. I’ m recapping it because recapping a tv show is something I’ve always wanted to try and it’ll hopefully keep me sane when the show gets ridiculous. No-one wants to listen to someone vent years after the show is over and I’ll need some outlet. So without further ado, my recap of the first episode.

The episode begins with an opening eye, something I remember Abrams or someone saying is a common thing in the show but which I never noticed till he pointed it out.

Oh look a guy in the jungle.

And…a dog… Little did  we know, back in ’04 that this was going to be least ‘What the fuck?’ thing about the show.

So anyway Jack runs through the jungle, the bamboo and all that stuff and then he comes out onto the beach.

And what follows is what I still think it one of the best opening sequences or scenes or whatever you want to call it in TV ever.  We see this beautiful beach with white sand and water which is almost too blue and it’s  the stereotypical island paradise. And then the noise kicks in. Plane engines and screaming, so much screaming. And Jack turns around. I think his face says it all really.

So then Jack is running around helping people, saving lives, y’know, just generally being a superhero doctor. While he’s saving everyone’s lives we are introduced to roughly ten characters who, having already seen the first four seasons, I know will be major players for season one and in most cases beyond. It’s done so  seamlessly and without taking you out of the action. Another reason I love the beach scene.

After having saved everyone’s lives Jack wanders off into the forest, takes off his top and reveals this beauty.

We’ve grasped at this point that Jack is a doctor (actually he might have said it, I can’t remember) but the wound is too far back for him to stitch himself. Luckily Kate’s wandering through the jungle and she made her own curtains this one time so she’s perfectly qualified to sew up a human with a travel sewing kit.

We get quick flick back to the beach and a shot of all the characters introduced amid the chaos of the beach scene…and Sawyer.

He wasn’t in the initial scene ’cause he’s a badass and was probably off somewhere looking for cigarettes or gelling his hair.

Then it’s nighttime and there’s some campfire chat about people coming to rescue them and a handy outline of what exactly happened the plane courtesy of Jack and Kate. We find out that only the midsection of the plane is on the beach. Kate saw smoke coming from…um…I forget but somewhere anyway so Jack says he’ll go look tomorrow. See if they can find the plane’s transceiver and call for help. Then we get the first appearance of the aforementioned tree breaking monster.

He breaks some trees and generally scares the shit out of everyone. I remember my brother saying the main problem with Lost was it’s easy to create mystery but not as easy to solve it. He’s perfectly right. There were damn good at creating mystery.

Then we are treated to our first ever flashback. Jack’s on the plane and he flirts a bit with the hostess and gets himself some extra alcohol.

He’s so lucky this happened, you never know when your plane is going to crash and you need some vodka to disinfect the massive wound in your side before having someone who once made drapes using a sewing machine stitch it up with a travel sewing kit. So Jack finishes his drink and gets up to go to the bathroom but is pushed out the way by Charlie.

No matter though, this manages to get a conversation started with Rose (who we saw Jack revive on the beach earlier in the episode but at this point hasn’t happened yet ’cause that’s how flashbacks work). She’s afraid of flying and in true TV fashion Jack assures her it will be all okay just before all hell breaks loose.

So then we’re back to present times and they’re still on the island and it’s morning and Jack’s ready to set out to find the transceiver. Kate wants to come with so he tells her to get better shoes because as well as a doctor he’s a hiking shoe specialist apparently. So then Kate steals a dead guys shoes while Locke watches and then smiles with orange in his mouth. I think this is meant to make Locke seem like a weirdo but I think it just comes off as Locke trying to lighten the mood and Kate being uptight.

So Jack tells them where he’s going and Charlie says he wants to come so all three set off into the jungle. Charlie tells them he was in a band, Kate doesn’t believe him and Jack doesn’t give a fuck. Then it rains and everyone back at camp runs for cover while Locke sits out in the rain enjoying himself and okay this time they succeeded in making him seem a bit weird. Charlie asks if it’s normal for it to get so dark all at once and start pouring and Kate and Jack ignore him because duh of course it is Charlie, it’s TV and rain makes it so much more dramatic.

So they find the front section of the plane and it’s at an angle which means they have to climb it so there’s plenty of opportunities for Jack to check on Kate and for Charlie to just be completely ignored. It’s obviously meant to show that there’s a budding romance between them but personally I think it just makes them both come off as assholes.

So they make it to the cockpit and holy shit the guy who will later be known as the cop from Heroes is the pilot.

Also he’s alive.

So he tells them that they’re 1000 miles off course which means no-one will find them unless they contact them with the transceiver which it it turns got broken during the crash. You think they’d make them extra sturdy since something like a crash would be when you actually need one.

So then Jack remembers that it wasn’t just him and Kate who came out here and sends Kate to look for Charlie who was in the bathroom. She asks him what he was doing in the bathroom of the wreck of a fucking plane to which he intelligently answers ‘What?’ But it’s okay ’cause the tree breaking monster resurfaces and it’s right outside the plane. So they all huddle in the cockpit hardly daring to breathe hoping it’ll pass by. But of course it fucking won’t ’cause this is TV and instead it drags the pilot out of windshield and sprays his blood all over the place.

So they get out of the plane (which handily fell when the monster attacked meaning that they could make a speedy get away) and Charlie falls and his foot gets stuck in te world strongest roots. Kate and Jack run on like the assholes they are till Charlie cries out and Jack goes back to help. Kate keeps running though because she seriously does not give a fuck about Charlie.

So then she gets to an area with some bamboo that nicely frames her face and calls out for Jack. When she gets no response she chokes out something which I honest to God could not make out despite listening twice. 

Then she sees something and she jumps on it but it’s only Charlie. She screams at him asking where Jack is and generally acts like it’s all Charlie’s fault they got split up even though five seconds ago she chose to run  ahead on her own while Jack saved Charlie.

So then they walk on and it stops raining which is really handy ’cause now when Kate finds a badge from the pilot’s shirt something in the tree above is reflected in the puddle causing her and Charlie to look up.

Charlie asks what’s that which is fucking ridiculous ’cause we’ve only seen a reflection so far and it’s pretty clear to us what it is but it gives Jack and chance to come out from the trees behind them and announce it’s the pilot’s body as if he comes across the horrificly disfigured remains of pilots which were killed by some sort of gigantic monster everyday. Him and Kate proceed to look at each other starry-eyed while Charlie acts like a normal person and asks how the hell something like that happens.

And so ends the episode one…or the first part of the pilot, whatever you want to call it.

Originally it was meant to end with Charlie and Kate coming across the blood covered body in the tree but instead of Jack coming out of the  trees behind them all smooth he was the body in the tree. Am I a bad person for wishing they had actually gone with that? I mean, I have nothing against Jack, he’s a great character but damn that would have been kick ass. Still if I’m going to wish the show had done other things I should probably wish it didn’t turn into a steaming pile of shit. Oh well. Installment two coming soon.